Apologies in advance for channeling my inner Stan Lee some days a mans just gotta alliterate.
Machete: A moustached Mexican maniac meticulously murders and maims a multitude of malicious mobsters with the malice of a molten burrito.
Quick before you go on to read this review click here and donate to Movember - it will only take a minute.
It's okay, ill wait.
Why you ask? Because it's a good cause that's why. Even if not a penny was raised towards fighting cancer, Movember just by it’s nature is increasing awareness of the importance of male health. Not just focusing on medical research but also helping people to look after themselves & live more fulfilled lives.
Giving us boys that very nesessary nudge to go get those uncomfortable check ups that no-one enjoys.
Cause lets be honest shall we? When it comes to doctors, us men need more than a little prompting.
(More updates on NanowriMovember 2014 here)
Anyway, the PSA is over, back to the show.
Pretty standard story, it’s all the stupid details that make it fun. I’m glad to report that the film delivered on all the promises the fake trailer made me when I saw it way back when.
The gritty Grindhouse style of the cuts only add to the experience other than that I have nothing to add.
Perfect boys night flick. Boys will ‘woop!’ & ‘woo hoo!’& ‘oh crap!’ the whole way through.
Stuff, occasionally more swearing than was necessary, but what can you do?
So pull up a bottle of tequila and drown your sensibilities, smother your nachos turbo hot salsa and guacamole and settle in for a hell of a ride. Prepare for lots of nudity, senseless violence, drinking and cultural insensitivity but it’s all in good fun so drink up.
After all kinds of bad luck ex federalli man Machete Cortez(played by Danny 'goddamn you've seen me in so many movies you'd shit yourself if you realised how many' Trejo) has found his way over the boarder into the promised land of America. As an illegal on stateside he waits outside the Home Depo until a very different kind of job falls into his lap - assassinate a senator.
What originally started as one of a series of mock trailers for Tarentino & Robert Rodriguez’ 2005 Grind house double feature (Death proof & Planet Terror)
I’m glad that Machete actually got made.
It’s nice to see something different. It’s even better to see Danny Trejo in the spotlight at last, a trend which seems to be continuing with Machete Kills, Bad Ass & Bad ass 2.
The film also deals with all kinds of pressing issues like:
When is appropriate to drink tequila?
What does it mean to be a living legend?
How many topless girls is too much?
But seriously though, trust me on the tequila.