I realise that very concept of what you are is absurd. Nothing like planting one religious celebration squarely on top of another and squeezing them godless heathen pagans into a corner eh?
Maybe you and Halloween have more in common than you let on.
Anyway despite origins I’m glad for your artificial snow, your tacky looking reindeer and lifeless plastic trees. I don’t think there’s a person alive who can look at a tree splashed in coloured lights and not get a little excitement pumping in their veins. It makes no sense, but even a humbug like me can appreciate that kind of magic.
Speaking of Rudi, I’ve always wondered, has he got some kind of mutant gene that lets him illuminate his nose or is he more like an angler fish?
I keep asking Santa but he has yet to reply, well with words anyway.
You wouldn’t believe what he left in my stocking last year.
Had to throw it away, scrub down the floor with bleach and then repaint the walls.
Thanks a bunch fatso.
When I was younger, was more than a little fortunate to be spoilt rotten with all kinds of things I’m certain that I didn’t deserve. I don’t remember where or why but I’m almost completely certain that I even saw Father Christmas arrive in a helicopter once but neither of my folks can verify that.
Apparently childhood is full of such mysteries.
Incidentally I also had a dog who went to go live on a farm,
I believed that there was a monster in the closet
(well that one is still on the table) and I also believed the doctor when he says things like "this won't hurt a bit"
Age and experience seem to cure most of these things, replacing them with other realities which seem to be more sinister. Maybe that’s how getting older kills the magic.
You don’t see Santa smiling in his grotto at the mall anymore, now all you wonder is about the why that weirdo wants all those kids who sitting on his lap.
I miss the ignorance sometimes.
So if you’ill excuse me,
I’m off to go eat mince pies and hum carols beside that not at all Christian looking tree.
I love mince pies, ate 12 boxes last year.
Maybe ill try for 15 this time?
Ill let you know how I get on.
Christmas thanks again for all the memories,
and all the good times still to come.
Hugs & kisses